how to annoy edward cullen

- Prance around the house singing Madonna’s ‘Like a virgin’ at the top of your lungs every morning.
- Especially loud when Bella is around to hear it.
- Running it by Charlie that Edward has been ‘sleeping’ with Bella for the past 2 years, at the wedding reception.
- Buy a sex-ed book and shove it in his locker, making sure that whenever he decides to open it that it falls out, in clear view of the school.
- Make sure and tell Aro that Edward wants to elope with him.
- Smear your blood all over his new car freshener. Blame it on Jacob
- Program his locker to sing "YOU AND ME BABY WE AIN’T NOTHING BUT MAMMALS, SO LETS DO IT LIKE WE DO ON THE DISCOVERY CHANNEL!" every time he opens it
- Tell him it was Jacob’s idea.
- Show him the twilight trailer. Ask him if he’s thinks that he looks like a pedophile or if it’s just you.
- Ask him where babies come from. Tell him he’s stupid when he won’t answer your question.
- For his birthday give him a $100 McDonalds gift card, and get offended when he tells you he doesn’t eat food.
- Post his phone number on an Edward Cullen fansite
- Tell him Bella wants to elope with Paul.
- Ask him why he likes watching Bella sleep. Call him a pervert.
- Ask him to be a gangsta with you for Halloween.
- Get offended when he refuses.
- Take him to Victoria’s Secret with Alice.
- Constantly whisper in his ear “Chinese Fireball….ooooooooh!” (harry potter reference)
- Constantly remind him that he almost lost Bella to a dog.
- Graffiti his car. ‘Jacob and Edward = LURVE’
- Picture yourself naked and covered in blood. Ask him if he wants you.
- Call him a liar when he says no.
- Throw boysenberry flavored muffins at him every time he tries to speak.
- Tell him Bella is pregnant and eloping with Mike Newton.
- Tell him you were kidding once he murders Mike.
- Ask him if Charlie is secretly a unicorn.
- Make him watch the Twilight movie.
- Ask him if he thinks Robert Pattinson is hot. When he says no, tell him he has low self esteem issues.
- Buy him a dog. Name it Jacob.
- Ask him if he’s a virgin.
- Tape porn to his walls.
- Make sure Bella sees it.
- Nail his CDS to the ceiling along with his Stereo.
- Refuse to take them down.
- Tell him Jacob thinks he’s a sex god.
- Ask him why he’s not as hot as Robert Pattinson.